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Quarantine thoughts

Writer's picture: Elena AleksaElena Aleksa

Hello everyone, how are you holding up?


I have to be honest, I forgot to check in with myself lately, I've been too hard on myself trying to stay occupied, come up with ways to be productive, achieve some crazy goals I had set up for myself.

I thought I am doing well during this time, I didn't see how this could be bad, I had more free time to work on what I love the most. But last week it caught up to me, I woke up anxious, unmotivated. There is no reason why, but this way of life is sinking in. This social distancing has left me feeling overwhelmed and like I’m not ‘doing enough’. I felt lazy if I don’t accomplish something huge/unique/creative. I had days when I didn't want get out of bed. Even the times, when I would sit on my yoga mat, where I used to feel most relaxed I felt like I have to do my yoga practice fast enough so I can get back to my bullet journals to continue making plans how to make this day count. And to be honest...I have never felt less creative.


I’ll be humble and say I needed to hear someone tell me it's not a creative break it's not a vacation. I'm blessed to have a person in my life who loves me and supports me, who knows what to say when I'm feeling down. This was the time I needed that reminder, and I got it. I wouldn’t want to quarantine and go through life with anyone else.



I know I am not alone in this, I know that so many people feel exactly the same way I feel, maybe even worse.


It's so important to give yourself a break. And I think I am finally getting there. I let myself relax more. If there are days I don't feel like doing anything I just allow myself to be lazy, it's my body telling me I need this, so I listen. It's like the universe is telling us all to be still and that in itself is ‘success’. And when you're ready you will get back to being creative.


It's been a tough month for sure. But I've been learning to manage my moods. I'm trying to distance myself from them, because they do not define who I am. It's just the feeling, it's what I'm experiencing at that moment.

I'm keeping myself busy with things that make me happy. If it's a video game I want to play I do it, if it's a sudden urge to cook I do it. I simply listen to my body. I acknowledge my mood and I act anyway. I even got candle and soap making sets! I'll be posting some updates on this as well:)


Remember to breathe. Practice mindfulness. Be present. Yes, this is what it is, but you are here, you can use your senses to pull yourself out of any mood. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing nothing if that's what you need to feel okay. Whatever helps you during this time it's what you should be doing.


Just try to take it day by day... and maybe, just maybe this was the silence we needed to learn what really satisfies us. So attempt to find your peace, find your pace, you'll be ok. And I hope you all know I'll be here if you need a friend to talk to.


Stay Healthy, Stay Safe my friends.


Love,

Elena


Thanks my dear friend Goda, for this cute picture of me and Lucas :)

 



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